Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Top Five: Movie Tearjerkers *SPOILERIFIC*

5. Marley & Me
Admittedly not one of the best films ever, but, and I am a little ashamed to admit it, this film made me cry more than anything else I have ever seen. We are talking full blown tears. My sleeves were soaked where I was wiping my eyes. Suffice to say, I looked particularly special by the time the film ended. I refuse to watch this movie again. The long and very drawn out demise of Marley is too much for me to take.

4. Pearl Harbor
Again, admittedly, this film is pretty poor. And yet I have seen it multiple times. I am not entirely sure why, although I don't think the fact Josh Hartnett is in it is entirely coincidental. For some unknown reason, the last 5 minutes of this film really gets to me. Might be something about the sight of men crying. I also like the explosions, but thats for another blog.

3. Into The Wild
Even though I had a feeling it was coming, when Chris McCandless dies, it made me sad. You wanted to think that he could live forever in this existence, but that was not how it was meant to be. To make matters worse, when he decides he wants to go back to his family, he is no longer in the state to be able to do it. At least he didn't die getting mauled by bears or something. It's made all the more sad by the fact its based on a true story. And Emile Hirsch is just too convincing in this role.

2. Armageddon
I must have seen this film approx 302,459 times. And I still cry at the ending. Every single time. Except the very first time I saw it. When I got angry, because I thought it was a contrived effort to make it clear to everyone that Bruce Willis was the star of this movie. And not Ben Affleck. After I got over my cynicism, the waterworks began. I sometimes make myself watch it just to try and make myself not cry at it anymore (I don't really have a life). It never works. Thanks Bruce, for saving the world.

1. Brokeback Mountain
Heath Ledger is bloody brilliant. Jake Gyllenhaal is too, don't get me wrong. But Heath is more brilliant. In fact, one of the most brilliant people ever. I mention this because if Mr Ledger was not as brilliant as previously mentioned, this film would not be half as affecting as it is. You get wrapped up in the whole relationship, and kinda of forget this is actually a film, and that the leads are, or at least as far as I know, of the hetero persuasion. I was genuinely sad they don't get to live happily ever after in Hollywood land. "I wish I knew how to quit you!"

Tuesday, 27 October 2009

Special Guest Blog! Top Five: Sexiest Videos

By Cleo Samuel

5. Sugababes - Get Sexy - Sweet 7
Now, I couldn't do a top five without paying must needed attention to my favourite girlband. Despite their issues of late, the Sugababes know how to do a pop video like no other group. Get Sexy is their comeback video, and the girls do a great job of 'getting sexy', the camera going from Heidi's sassy smiles, to Keisha's sexy pouts, and Amelle showing off her legs in an edgy outfit whilst sauntering around in a bird cage. If you're not a huge fan of the video, then the lyrics are pure genius. The song is pretty awesome too, that is if you can forgive the right said fred references.

4. Shakira - She Wolf - She Wolf
Shakira is the best - nobody does latina or belly dancing quite like her, [sorry Jennifer Lopez] and this video is just one of the many reasons why. Shakira often does understated sexy, but on this video, she really does unleash her inner she wolf and lets her sex appeal go wild. I defy anybody not to get up and start singing along, especially at the 'Awooooooooo' chorus.... not to mention some of the lyrics are pretty amazing, too.

3. Marilyn Manson - Heart Shaped Glasses [where the hand guides the heart]
For anybody who knows me, this choice is a weird one. Now although the song isn't exactly on my itunes, the video, I think, manages to capture Manson at a stage where he seems to be in a 'happy' place. The video features then girlfriend and favourite actress of mine Evan Rachel Wood. According to Manson, she is the highest paid actress ever to star in a music video. There's rather a large part of me that secretly loves the video, its shocking and true to form in representing the passion in their relationship, and although I don't think Manson would ever be described as producing a video that is conventionally 'sexy', there's something weird and wonderful about this video that you just can't help but watch.

2. Britney Spears - Slave 4 U - Britney
Britney. Hot Sweaty Atmosphere. The Dance Moves. And who can forget the hot pink thong worn over her chaps? Britney's Slave 4 U video cemented her transformation from girl next door to sexy pinup like no other, helped along by her VMA performance, too. Produced by the Neptunes, Britney shakes and sings her way through this song delivering sexy pop sounds like no other.

1. Robin Thicke - Lost Without You - The Evolution of Robin Thicke
This video is sultry, sophisticated, and oh so sexy. If you don't know who Robin Thicke is, he's the man whose voice and suave sex appeal is a couple of degrees hotter than Justin Timberlake - Yes, I said it. The video is not only incredibly soulful, but the song and video help you to set the right kind of mood just like no other. Its a classy video, and to make things sweeter, Robin's love interest happens to be his lovely wife, the gorgeous Paula Patton who you might recognise from films like Hitch and Deja Vu. If this song doesn't put you in the mood for a big dose of romance and sexy time, I don't know what will.

Monday, 26 October 2009

Top 5: Lonely Island Videos.

Because I am really a teenage boy. And these things make me laugh.

5. Just 2 Guyz

4. We Like Sportz
(I can't find a version in youtube. Fail.)

3. Lazy Sunday

2. I'm On A Boat

1. Dick In A Box

Sunday, 25 October 2009

Top 5: Boy Bands

5. 911.
Not a very cool band to admit to liking in hindsight, or when they were still active, but they were the first gig I went to, so they have a special place in my heart. Makes me laugh when the band members appear on the line-up on Never Mind The Buzzcocks (two down, one to go!). I used to be mesmerised by their dancing. But looking back I have realised that really wasn't their greatest skill. I am not entirely sure they had a great skill.
Faves: Bodyshakin, Don't Make Me Wait, Love Sensation.

4. Busted.
Not technically a boy band (my blog, my rules), but I was absolutely in love with this band. Pretty perfect pop music, with added guitars. James Bourne is a bit of a pop genius. McFly could also just as easily have been in this position, but there is something a bit special about Busted. I'm not sure if it's because they were the originals, or because they split up when they were at their peak. I was gutted when Charlie left and it all went tits up. I didn't cry, just to clarify. I tried really hard not to love Fightstar when they emerged from the ashes, but unfortunately I am unable to deny that they are awesome. Damn you, Simpson.
Faves: 3am, You Said No, Thunderbirds.

3. Backstreet Boys.
How can you not love this band? The undisputed Kings of The Ballad (if anyone claims Westlife are, I will refuse to talk to you for at least 3 minutes), although I personally think they are at their best with their more uptempo numbers. The day I saw them at TOTP was literally one of the most exciting moments ever. Despite the change of hairstyles and clothes, they seem to have forgotten to age. Probably too busy being larger than life. Oh yes, I have resorted to puns.
Faves: Everybody (Backstreets Back), Show Me The Meaning Of Being Lonely, Inconsolable.

2. Take That.
I used to be a lot in love with this band. Although I was not one of the crazy people in floods of tears when they split up. Even as a child I had some sense of perspective. Had they never come back into my life, Take That would definitely have been number one on this list. But they did re-emerge, and I don't think their newer stuff is as good as the old stuff. I like my boy bands to be slightly whiffing of Cheddar, and this more mature sound (oh yes, now I have resorted to cheese based puns) is tarnishing my memories. Don't get me wrong, Patience is one of the greatest pop songs ever written, but my enthusiasm at their return is diminishing. Old school TT all the way!
Faves: Sure, Relight My Fire, A Million Love Songs.

Slightly controversial choice, but I am currently a lot in love with this band. I am almost 100% sure that if a new boy band popped up singing the same songs, I would laugh in their faces. Part of their appeal is the nostalgia factor, even though it really hasn't aged well, but it can never, ever fail to make a humungous smile appear on my face. I kinda hope this band never comes back though. It really wouldn't be the same.
Faves: Pop, Bye Bye Bye, Tearing Up My Heart.

Friday, 23 October 2009

Top Five: American Idolers

5. Chris Daughtry
An awesome rock voice. Very unlike the norm when it comes to the type of singers who you expect to see on these kind of shows.

4. Jennifer Hudson
Not the biggest fan of her music in all honesty, but her performance in Dreamgirls is nothing short of extra-ordinary. Definitely worth the Oscar. You believe every word she sings in that movie and she even manages to upstage Beyonce, which is not an easy feat.

3. Kelly Clarkson
More of an fan of old school Clarkson. Well to be more precise, I am a pretty much a fan of all her works, apart from 'My December'. Slightly more obscurely, it is also worth checking out her duets with Country legend Reba McEntire. Kelly would wipe the floor with any of the contestants on the British equivalents on this show (as would anyone past this point on the list to be fair). Except for maybe Leon Jackson. I loved him.

2. Carrie Underwood
I am a bit of a secret country music lover. Although I'm kinda selective. I love how the music doesn't pretend to be anything other than it is, and is always uplifting. It's no coincidence she has won a pretty amazing 4 Grammys and a ridiculous 14(!!) Billboard Music Awards. But then again someone decided to give U2 22 Grammys, so maybe that's not a good indication of anything.

1. Jordin Sparks
As much at home with big ballads, as epic pop tunes and uptempo numbers. I think it is literally impossible to chose a favourite song of hers. Not only are her vocal abilities undeniable (Her live singing sounds exactly the same as the record!), but she also seems to be a genuinely nice person. I wish she was my friend. Maybe I will tweet her...

Special Guest Blog! Top Five: Sibling Acts

By Jess Wearn

5) Hanson.
Back in the nineties, they were the heartthrobs of thousands of pre-teen girls. Time hasn't been good to them, but I would kill for their hair!

4) The Wainwrights.
Rufus is the musical genius, but Martha has a voice that blows your socks off. They're the high-end version of the Jagger children.

3) Kings of Leon.
Their music rocks, they have their hiccups (apparently they co-write just to claim equal royalties) but they are sons of a preacher from the Mid-west and they're gritty rockstars.

2) The Afflecks.
Admit it, you wouldn't say no to either of these gents. I personally prefer Casey.

1) The Gyllenhaals.
I just love their individuality. Jake is a heartthrob, Maggie is someone you'd love to have a night out with. The films they're in are fantastic (most of the time) and each have shown their amazing acting abilities.

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

Special Guest Blog! Jared Leto Is Sexy: Let Me Count Five Ways

By Fiona Hunter (
5) My-So-Called Life Era: Jared as a young ‘un. Anyone who was/is a fan of this show knows that it is almost entirely about Jared as Jordan Catalano. He was mysterious, brooding and blew completely hot and cold on Angela. But this was the huge attraction of him in it. That boyish floppy hair, the far off gazes, and the most random of words he came out with. This picture sums up his whole attraction as Jordan.
4) The Full-on Emo Look: This picture is taken from ‘The Kill’ which was the single that put 30STM on the mainstream map. Jared is completely embracing the emo image with his raven-black hair and long fringe as well as the angst he demonstrates in this video. I don’t think it needs explaining why this is one of my favourite pictures... TWO Jared's at once? It’s the dream.
3) The Revamp: Gone is the long hair and the dodgy Kurt Cobain inspired bleach (one picture which was definitely NOT going to make this top 5) and here arrives Jared at 37, a new 30STM album imminent and a short hairstyle to embrace. Now I’ve always been a fan of floppy fringes but cooooor, Jared looks ten times younger looking all clean-cut and polished. Plus you can see those baby blues better which is nothing but positive.

2) TOPLESS: Do I really need to explain this one?
1) A Beautiful Boy: Like ‘A Beautiful Lie’, get it? Pun-tastic. This is the epitome of perfect Leto to me. And because of this it's a whole video, not just a picture, because he needs appreciating all the way through this. Oh. My. Gosh. All the necessary features are present: his natural hair colour, all shaggy and floppy. A sexy amount of stubble. Those blue eyes looking at their most piercing. And finally, that borderline cheeky look in his eyes that screams “I’m Jared Leto and you want me”.

P.S. Just for the record, here is an example of a bad picture of Jared. A haircut can do a lot to a person and this shows how NOT to cut your hair.

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

Top Five: Rock Band Front Men/Women

5. Jared Leto - 30 Seconds To Mars
Maybe its just the fact that he is 'Jared Leto', but it is very hard to take your eyes off this man when he is on stage. His rock credentials are slightly let-down by the fact he tries to play up to it too much and tends to over-swear a little bit. Instead of being hardcore, it ends up being rather humorous.

4. Gabe Saporta - Cobra Starship
I just love Cobra Starship. He may not be the best singer the world has ever seen, but he doesn't pretend to be. He, and the band, are there to have fun and to make sure the audience have fun too.

3. Hayley Williams - Paramore
Not generally a fan of female fronted bands, as I sometimes find them a bit overpowered, but there is barely anything in the world that can outshine Hayley Williams. A huge bundle of energy and pretty much one of the best voices in the business.

2. Adam Lazzara - Taking Back Sunday
Vocal abilities? Check! Likes to climb the stage? Check! Facial fur? Sometimes Check! Microphone swinging? BIG check! Always looks like he is having the time of his life, and also happens to be a very friendly chap indeed.

1. Matt Bellamy - Muse
What. A. Legend. Armed with more gadgets than er... The Gadget Store, Bellamy is a force to be reckoned with. Has more musical talent than is really fair. Not sure what it is about him, but ideas seem more genius, just because he was the one to do it. He is also likely to be seen wearing very bright jacket, and may own one of the coolest collection of guitars ever. I may not be able to play the instrument, but I am still jealous.

Sunday, 11 October 2009

Top Five: Friends Quotes

Ross: So, uh, what did the insurance company say?
Chandler: Oh, they said uh, "You don't have insurance here so stop calling us."

Rachel: Hi, I'm Rachel. And you are?
Woman: Amanda.
Rachel: Oh... I get it. A-man-duh.

Ross: I sleep with Dinosaurs?!
Chandler: I believe I read that somewhere.

Chandler: *deadpan* Oh. My. God. You almost gave me a heart attack.

Joey: Hi, I'm Chandler. Could I BE wearing any more clothes?

Friday, 9 October 2009

Top Five: Paramore Videos

5. Ignorance
Best Bit: The bits with Hayley hanging on the light.

4. Pressure
Best Bit: When the sprinklers go off.

3. Emergency
Best Bit: The introduction of each of the band members (sorry for the poor quality of the video).

2. Misery Business
Best Bit: Hayley + Towel = Revenge!

1. That's What You Get
Best Bit: Hayley singing in front of her friends outside. Just looks so natural and she looks so happy.

Thursday, 8 October 2009

Top Five: Action Heroes!

To save repetition, I like my heroes who take no messing! They don't necessarily need a theme tune, but sometimes it helps. The more skills, the better. Just a quick list today. Not much elaboration needed.

5. Ethan Hunt (Mission: Impossible)

4. James Bond

3. Indiana Jones

2. Jason Bourne

1. Bryan Mills (Taken)
Liam Neeson = Action Man!

WTF: He's Just Not That Into You

What happens when you hire too many big names and forget to write an actual plot? Well, this film happens. The whole thing seems like random scenes depicting woman as crazy, neurotic and marriage obsessed, while the men just float around calling the shots. Even the scenes depicting the 'happy endings' come about because the man has decided that now is the time.
For something which purports to be depicting situations that the audience can relate to, I can honestly say I do not know anyone who is anything like any of the female characters presented. Admittedly, the male characters are exactly like many men that everyone has come across at some point.
By the time all the main characters (although, using the word characters is a little misleading, as it suggests they are part of some actual narrative) have been introduced, you know exactly how the film is going to end, roughly two hours later. Nothing happens within this time to make you think otherwise. In fact, not a lot happens within this time at all. As mentioned earlier, it suffers from a severe lack of plot.
The only upside of this film is Bradley Cooper. Unfortunately, this is just due to his presence in the film, and not due to any particular contribution. This is a little harsh though, as nooone has much acting to do. This must have been the easiest pay packet that any of them have ever received.
There are plenty of much smarter rom-coms around. Watch them instead.
Although not all of them feature Bradley Cooper...

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Top Five: Worst Accents In Film.

The fact you have probably not seen, or even heard of most of the movies featured, probably says it all really.

5. Josh Hartnett - Blow Dry
Not even the pretty face makes up for the voice. Would have been much better if he had a non-speaking role.

4. Heath Ledger - Casanova
When good actors go bad. Not even entirely sure what accent he is supposed to be pulling off, but it sounds like nothing I have ever heard before.

3. Heather Graham - From Hell
The lack of accent ability isn't overly surprising when you consider the lack of general acting ability. Maybe a little harsh, but really can't understand why she is employed.

2. Dick Van Dyke - Mary Poppins
So notoriously bad, it doesn't need explaining.

1. Jared Leto - Basil
Leto, Leto, Leto. What were you thinking? Worst attempt at an English accent I have ever heard. This film is fairly terrible as it is. Definitely not his shining moment. Pretty hilarious watching him try though.

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

Top Five: Disney Live Actions

5. Cool Runnings
The story of the first Jamaican bobsleigh team. Sounds lame. Really isn't. Doesn't end the way you expect sports movies to. Christmas is not complete without this film, which is odd as it actually has nothing to do with xmas. Unless you count the ice, which is kinda like snow, which supposedly happens on Christmas Day. But I think I am clutching at straws.

4. Remember The Titans
Another sports movie, this time based on a racially integrated US football team. Saw this for the first time late night on TV. Loved it so much I went out and bought it on DVD the next day. Part of the charm is in seeing the familiar faces with younger faces, such as Hayden Panettiere and Ryan Gosling. And Turk from Scrubs.

3. Mary Poppins
Penguins, Julie Andrews, chimney sweeps, merry-go-rounds, snow globes, pigeons, umbrellas, tape measures, banks, kites, crazy captains, suffragettes, singing, dancing and one of the worst accents ever featured in film (but that's a whole other countdown). The pure joy of singing the songs is one of the reasons I have watched this so many times.

2. High School Musical
I was/am a little obsessed with the HSM films and I was very tempted to put this at number one, but there is one reason why it isn't. The third film. It seems to forget about most of the characters storylines and mostly focuses on Troy and Gabriella, which is also a problem because Vanessa Hudgens annoys me. Not sure why. She just does. On the plus side, Zac Efron and Ashley Tisdale more than make up for it. Although for very different reasons. What time is it?

1. Pirates Of The Caribbean
As you have probably gathered by now, I don't have the most sophisticated of tastes when it comes to cinema (just wait until you see my music opinions!). I am pretty much guaranteed to want to watch films that feature explosions, fights, romance and comedy. But mostly explosions. I can't think of a lot to say about it really. Other than it is pretty much my number one by default (see above), but still worth a watch. Although
they are a bit long.